Nada Samih-Rotondo | Mama’s Writing
"Parenting has left me open to receive and that is a generative space to find myself as a writer."
Mama’s Writing is Raising Mothers’ monthly interview series, created by Deesha Philyaw and curated by Sherisa de Groot.
(she/her) is a multi-genre Palestinian American writer, educator, and mother. A graduate of Rhode Island College, she earned degrees in English and Education and an MFA in creative writing from Lesley University. When she is not befriending trees or attuning to hidden stories, she is leading transformational educational experiences and addressing the social- emotional needs of historically underserved and multilingual youth. Her writing has appeared in Masters Review, Gulf Stream Literary Magazine, and Squat Birth Journal. She lives in Providence with her husband and three children. All Water Has Perfect Memory is her first book.
Connect: @nadasamihwrites on Instagram
How has the experience of raising children shaped your own personal growth as a writer and as an individual?
I became a mother days before turning 25 and even though I was writing ever since I could hold a pencil, becoming a mother fed and nurtured my writing in vital ways. Parenting taught me boundaries and structured my time in ways that motivated me to keep writing, even if there were times where writing in short bursts was all I could manage. I also love interacting with young people, whether mine or others, and served as a classroom teacher for most of my adult life. Young people continue to inspire my writing with their unique perspectives and also by reminding me of the importance of play. They are my daily reminder that whatever you are investing in better be fun or it’s not worth it. Also, I was brought up with the Islamic notion that children are gifts and that I learn from them just as much as they might learn from me, all of which have shaped my personal growth.
If you could go back and give yourself advice before becoming a parent, what would it be?
That is a tough one because before becoming a parent, I was least likely to take advice and learned mainly through experience. It was really through the process of pregnancy, birthing, single parenting, and then later partnered parenting, that I learned how to maintain a regulated nervous system, to stay embodied instead of disassociating, and to ask and accept help. I don’t know if I would have been able to learn those lessons if I didn’t take my role as a mother who needed to break cycles of trauma and abuse seriously.
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How do you navigate societal expectations or stereotypes as an immigrant parent in your writing while staying true to your authentic voice?
I am more feral than I look! I have never been one to pay much attention to societal expectations or stereotypes. I am aware that they exist but I lack the patience for any ideas that are used to manipulate or contort my energy for other’s comfort. So I guess I navigate them by continuing to not pay attention to them and listening to the trees, the water, and my body instead.
It was really through the process of pregnancy, birthing, single parenting, and then later partnered parenting, that I learned how to maintain a regulated nervous system, to stay embodied instead of disassociating, and to ask and accept help.
What themes or topics do you find yourself drawn to explore in your work since becoming a parent, and why?
So many themes and topics! For one, I love exploring our interconnections with parents of other species. Like what is there to learn from mother trees? What do I have in common with whale mothers? There is so much to learn there. I am also interested in how we develop our sense of self and who we are in the world based on our relationships with caregivers. I find myself drawn towards exploring sibling dynamics. I grew up as the only child and something about that felt very off to me. I was raised by a single mom who essentially kidnapped me from my father and brought me to the US. For 30 years I only had bits and pieces of my history and also only her side of the story. Then plot twist, in 2019, my half sister found me over social media and my whole life changed. I had actually worked on a sci fi story with half sibling relationships at the center of it way before this truth came out. It was like a part of me knew something and was trying to work it out through this story.
How do you handle creative challenges or setbacks?
If I am experiencing creative challenges or setbacks it's usually felt in my body in obvious or subtle ways. Learning how to move those feelings through my body and staying present with uncomfortable feelings has been a helpful practice. I know I can slow down and take time to regroup or work on a project in a different genre but I won’t let it stop me. I see it as an opportunity to switch it up a bit and try something different. Flexibility is key.
Much like a future filled with possibilities that I imagine is possible and on the horizon for me and my children, I imagine the same for my artistic aspirations.
How do you navigate the fine line between sharing personal experiences in your writing while respecting the privacy of your family?
Well, I just wrote a very personal multigenerational memoir that was released last September titled All Water Has Perfect Memory so if there was a fine line, I think it's safe to say it's been burned away by this point! While I agree that privacy is important, I feel like it exists on a spectrum. I come from a communal society that often has different notions of privacy than the west so I think it is contextual. For me, I have found connection with folks from varying degrees of difference through the vulnerability of sharing and connecting on a personal level. You know those memes about someone getting into an Uber with a stranger but by the end of a 20 minute ride, they are like “good luck in child support court Larry, you got this!” I feel like they made those memes about me. Like give me the juicy bits, spare me the small talk.
How do you carve out time for self-care, down time, and creative expression?
I am blessed with a partner that is supportive in ways big and small. This is important since I come from a Palestinian family that has been displaced twice in 3 generations. I don’t have that village of extended family that I would have had access to traditionally if I was still in the Middle East. While that is hard, we have made clear communication and teamwork a centerpiece of our family life. Most of my writing and parenting life happened while teaching full time so being disciplined and valuing my time has been key. Taking part in activities that keep me in my body everyday whether that is a long walk, time in nature, or studio workouts have also been central.
How has your parenting journey impacted your perspective on your writing career and artistic aspirations?
I think the main way parenting has impacted my perspective is by dramatically expanding it. Much like a future filled with possibilities that I imagine is possible and on the horizon for me and my children, I imagine the same for my artistic aspirations. Parenting has left me open to receive and that is a generative space to find myself as a writer.
How have other mother figures you have encountered in your community influenced your parenting? Your writing?
I have been really blessed to call the city of Providence my home because I managed to knit together this amazing group of multiracial, multigenerational community of badass mamas over the years who have influenced me in profound ways. Through their support, friendship, and simply their presence, I have learned to think expansively and creatively about what is possible for me as a mother and creative writer, to lean into my intuition, set healthy boundaries, and to think in terms of my creative practice as a marathon, not a sprint.
What advice would you give to other mothers who aspire to pursue their writing goals while raising a family?
Just keep writing! Whether it's for short spurts or longer sessions. It’s also okay to slow down or take breaks, but don’t ever stop. The world needs your voice! I would also say it’s so important for our children to see us take active steps towards our dreams, so no matter how hard it is, don’t ever stop.
Who are your writer-mama heroes?
Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Ursula Le Guin.
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